🧠What it means to have grown up with ADHD
Growing up with ADHD meant your brain's unique wiring was treated as a problem to fix rather than a different way of experiencing and processing the world.
You may have received constant messages that your natural behaviors, sensory experiences, and thought patterns were wrong and needed to be constantly modified or fixed. As a child, you developed elaborate masking behaviors to appear "normal"—studying neurotypical people and practicing their expressions, phrases, and social rules. Your sensory overwhelm was often interpreted as defiance or misbehavior, leading to punishment and exclusion rather than understanding and accommodation.
You may have developed an exhausting hyperawareness of your own behaviors, constantly monitoring for signs that your neurodivergence is showing in ways others might judge. Years of masking your natural traits has led to identity confusion—sometimes unsure which parts of you are authentically you and which are performance. Deep down, you've internalized the message that your natural way of being is fundamentally flawed, and at your core, you feel like you need to constantly apologize for being different.