🚫 What it means to have grown up with inappropriate sexual exposure
Growing up with chronic exposure to inappropriate sexual behavior meant being forced to navigate adult matters before you were ready, creating a fractured understanding of boundaries, consent, and healthy intimacy.
You may have seen and heard things about sexuality that children shouldn't be exposed to, forcing you to make sense of adult behaviors with a child's understanding. Your early blueprint for intimacy became mixed with confusion, leaving you wondering what "normal" looks like when it comes to relationships and physical boundaries. You might have learned to detect subtle shifts in power dynamics and recognize when situations feel unsafe—a survival skill that protected you but left you hypervigilant.
You may find that your intimacy boundaries swing between fortress walls and open floodgates, with the middle ground feeling like uncharted territory. Your nervous system learned to store difficult memories in your body, sometimes reacting with alarm to safe touch or creating unexpected disconnection during intimate moments. The way you sometimes feel absent from your own experiences isn't a weakness—it's evidence of your body's incredible ability to protect you when staying present felt impossible.