⏰ What it means to have grown up with a chronically absent working parent
Growing up with a work-consumed parent meant feeling like an afterthought in their career routine, learning that your needs would always be secondary to more important professional demands.
You may have experienced the crushing disappointment of inconsistent presence—never knowing if your parent would show up for important moments because their work always seemed to take priority. When someone cancels plans or is late now, it triggers a familiar hurt that goes far deeper than the current situation, reopening the wound of feeling less important than deadlines and meetings. You learned to minimize your importance to accommodate their schedule, developing incredible self-sufficiency out of necessity.
You may have developed a deep belief that you must be entirely self-sufficient because ultimately, everyone is too busy with their own priorities to truly be there for you. You struggle to expect consistency from others, having learned early that commitments are always conditional and subject to last-minute changes. You equate a person's availability with their love, measuring care by physical presence rather than the quality of connection. At your core, you question whether you're inherently worthy of someone's undivided attention, having spent your childhood competing with work for love and care.