🚫 What it means to have experienced grooming
Experiencing grooming meant that someone slowly eroded your boundaries through manipulation, making you question your own perceptions while teaching you that your comfort and safety weren't a priority.
You may have learned that saying "no" or setting limits was dangerous, ineffective, or made you seem ungrateful. The gradual nature of grooming meant that by the time you recognized something was wrong, you may have already been conditioned to doubt your own instincts. Your natural boundaries were systematically dismantled through a careful process designed to make violations seem normal or even special.
You may now struggle with boundary-setting in relationships, alternating between rigid walls and complete self-abandonment. Physical touch might require conscious permission, even when wanted, and intimacy can unexpectedly trigger defensive reactions you can't control. The shame that belongs to the person who violated your boundaries may still cling to you like a second skin, even though what happened was never your fault.