🫂 What it means to have grown up with a smothering, overprotective parent
Growing up with a smothering parent meant your independence was systematically undermined through excessive protection that sent the clear message: you couldn't handle the world on your own.
You may have experienced normal childhood tasks being painted as risks and disasters waiting to happen, teaching you to fear rather than explore your environment. Your parent's anxiety became your anxiety through their constant over-involvement and over-protectiveness. When you tried to assert yourself or speak up, it often made things worse, so you learned that accommodating and letting others take the wheel was your safest option.
You may now find yourself automatically deferring to your partner's decisions, even when you have strong opinions of your own. Decision-making can feel overwhelming—you might freeze with complete indecision or swing to the opposite extreme and make impulsive choices just to assert some sense of control. The tragic irony is that your survival strategy of surrender, which kept you safe in childhood, now prevents you from being a full partner in your relationships.