LOST IN BOUNDARIES

When your parent drew you into their chaotic emotional world, your developing mind blurred the lines between where they ended and you began 🤷‍♀️. You learned to anticipate their moods, manage their feelings, and sacrifice your own needs to keep them regulated. But this rewired something fundamental at your very core: your nervous system learned that it was part of another, that to be loved and protected meant having "two hearts beating as one". Instead of developing as a separate and well-differentiated individual who is respected and cared for by another, your nervous system became part of an undifferentiated parent-child emotional system. As a result, you became incredibly empathetic, emotionally intelligent, attuned to others, and deeply romantic. Your ability to read people and provide comfort is genuinely remarkable 💪. But this emotional fusion with your parent came at the cost of losing part of your identity and creating profound confusion about who you are without your other half. This was one of the earliest and most foundational wounds a person can experience—it literally rewired your capacity for love connection at the most basic level 🧠.

Now as an adult, you swing between two extremes: either you completely merge with your partner, losing yourself in their needs and emotions, or you build your walls sky high because true intimacy feels suffocating 🧱. With some partners you desperately chase after their attention—with others you turn distant—shutting yourself down emotionally. At times you attract narcissists who feel familiar to you from your childhood 💔. At other times, you swing in the opposite direction and begin acting like a narcissist yourself—as an ill-judged attempt to establish some boundaries in your life. Love feels like either total surrender 🤗 or complete control ✊, because from very early on you were never modeled what healthy boundaries between parent and child actually looks like.