DRIVING WITHOUT A GPS

Growing up, your parent constantly reframed and redefined your reality, making you unsure about your own understanding of events, questioning your own memories, and uncertain about your own feelings 🤯. When you said you were hurt, they told you not to be a wuss—"it don't hurt that bad". When you remembered something clearly, they insisted you were confused, exaggerating it or simply making it up. In the shadows of their gaslighting, your developing mind learned that your version of events was inherently unreliable—that the adults around you were the ultimate arbiters of what was true, right and real and what wasn't. Their systematic undermining of your perception created chronic self-doubt that follows you everywhere, making you question your own judgment and constantly seek external validation for your opinions and decisions 🧑‍⚖️. You became incredibly skilled at reading other people's versions of reality, taking on their perspectives and adopting them as if they were your own ✨. But this came at the cost of losing trust in your own inner compass—the voice that should guide your decisions, protect your boundaries, and help you navigate relationships 🧭.

Now you find yourself constantly asking "Am I overreacting?" or "Am I crazy?" or "Why not look at things from their point of view?"—even when your instincts are screaming that something is obviously wrong 🚨. You give your partner's perspective more weight than your own, even when their interpretation of events doesn't match your own understanding of them. But sometimes you swing to the opposite extreme and refuse to take on any of your partner's perspectives at all, because you're so afraid they might be gaslighting you 🛡️. There's no middle ground—either you completely defer to their reality or you stubbornly reject it entirely. Partners who give you validation easily, without a fight, often feel suspicious—you're so used to having your reality questioned that healthy validation of your feelings and needs makes you wonder "Are they buttering me up?" or "What are they trying to manipulate me into?" 🤔 You've become so wired to seek external confirmation that you no longer trust that your feelings are real, your needs are valid, your decisions are wise and that you're not losing your mind. When conflict arises or important decisions need to be made, you find yourself without a GPS 🚗, never quite sure which direction is right, oscillating between trusting everyone else's directions and refusing all guidance entirely. Sometimes the very foundation of who you are starts to feel shaky because you never learned that your perception of reality could be trusted.