⚔️ What it means to have grown up with verbal abuse and put-downs in the family
Growing up with verbal abuse meant learning that words could be weapons, and that the people who were supposed to protect you were also the ones who could destroy your sense of self with their criticism and cruelty.
You may have learned to constantly watch your parent's moods and adapt yourself before trouble started, developing an early warning system that could detect the tiniest shifts in tone or expression that signaled verbal attacks were coming. Your home never felt truly safe—one moment they were loving, the next cruel and unpredictable, teaching you that expressing your authentic thoughts and feelings was dangerous territory that could trigger harsh consequences.
The harsh words you heard may have become the voice in your head, creating an internal critic that sounds suspiciously like your verbally abusive parent. You might struggle to trust your own judgment and constantly seek external validation, having learned that your version of reality was inherently unreliable. Even now, you may find yourself filtering your thoughts and expressions, questioning whether it's truly safe to be yourself in relationships.