⚔️ What it means to have grown up with a high-conflict parent
Growing up with a high-conflict parent meant your home was a warzone of accusations and denials - where every slammed door or hissed whisper signaled another round of emotional battles.
You may have learned that conflict only comes in two flavors: explosive battles or tense cease-fires. Your developing nervous system became wired to see disagreements as emotional warfare, teaching you that relationships oscillate between "everything is perfect" and "we're at war" with no middle ground. You became incredibly skilled at reading the room for brewing tension and developed powerful de-escalation abilities when you chose the peace-keeping route.
Now you may find yourself ping-ponging between being "The Accommodator" - apologizing for breathing and agreeing with everything to avoid discord - and "The Warrior" - where the latest small issue becomes a hill to die on because you've stored months of pent-up frustration. That middle space where couples actually discuss and work things out calmly? Your nervous system literally can't access it because there's no wiring between the extremes your childhood created.