🏠 What it means to have grown up with an emotionally unavailable parent
Growing up with an emotionally unavailable parent meant you were emotionally homeless - with no lap to crawl into and no voice that said "I've got you" when the world felt too big or scary to handle alone.
You may have learned that your feelings and needs would be ignored or dismissed, so you developed a reflex of "Don't bother asking. They'll just make it your fault." Your first instinct became to hide your hurts rather than seek comfort. You discovered that love felt more secure when you minimized your needs and became the "easy" child who never caused problems, adapting to any situation without complaint.
Now you may find yourself habitually prioritizing others' needs while accepting that they don't have to do the same for you. You've become so skilled at accommodation that you've lost touch with your own preferences - sometimes you genuinely don't know what you want because you're so used to wanting whatever makes others happy. The exhausting irony is that while you bend over backwards to keep others comfortable, you rarely feel truly seen or cared for in return.