💔 What it means to have grown up with an emotionally unavailable or unloving parent
Growing up with an unloving parent meant you learned to navigate childhood without the emotional safety net that every child deserves - becoming fluent in reading others' moods while remaining strangers to your own needs.
You may have experienced a childhood where your feelings were treated like unwelcome guests in your own home. When you were hurt, scared, or angry, the adults around you either ignored you completely or made it clear that your emotions were inconvenient, dramatic, or wrong. You learned early that feelings don't get you comfort - they get invalidated, criticized, and turned against you entirely.
This emotional numbing became your brilliant survival strategy. You developed incredible self-sufficiency and learned to handle crises without falling apart, while developing radar for others' emotions since yours didn't seem to matter. But now you may find yourself disconnected from your own inner world, struggling to know what you actually feel or need in any given moment. When someone genuinely asks "What's going on for you?" there's often just static where your emotions should be.