🎠What it means to have grown up with inconsistent parenting
Growing up with inconsistent parenting meant you never knew which version of your parent you'd get—their moods, rules, and availability changed without warning, making love feel like a lottery where some days you were cherished and others ignored or punished for the same behavior.
You may have become hypervigilant to micro-changes—a sigh, a tone shift, or silence could signal impending storms. You learned to rehearse conversations endlessly, trying to predict every possible reaction before speaking, and to over-explain simple choices because you were conditioned to justify decisions against unpredictable scrutiny.
You may find that good days feel dangerous because you're bracing for the inevitable crash, and you distrust stability—when things go well, you suspect hidden traps. Relationships feel unsafe, so you test partners with subconscious "loyalty checks" to prove they won't suddenly disappear, yet you crave chaos because calm environments feel eerie and unfamiliar.