🎲 What it means to have grown up with an unpredictable parent
Growing up with an unpredictable parent meant you never knew which version of them you'd get—their moods, rules, and availability changed without warning, making love feel like a lottery.
You may have learned to become hypervigilant to micro-changes—a sigh, a tone shift, or silence could signal impending storms. Some days you were cherished, others ignored or punished for the exact same behavior. You developed an early warning system that could detect the tiniest shifts in mood or energy, but this constant scanning left you exhausted and always braced for the next emotional earthquake.
You may now find that good days feel dangerous—you brace for the inevitable crash after positive moments. Stability might feel suspicious, like a setup for disappointment. You might rehearse conversations endlessly, trying to predict every possible reaction, and over-explain simple choices because you're conditioned to justify decisions against unpredictable scrutiny.