🎲 What it means to have grown up with an unreliable parent
Growing up with an unreliable parent meant learning that promises were more like suggestions, that plans could evaporate without notice, and that counting on others leads to inevitable disappointment.
You may have experienced a parent whose follow-through was inconsistent at best—showing up late, canceling plans, forgetting important events, or making commitments they couldn't keep. You learned to protect yourself through automatic distrust, developing an early warning system that scanned for the catch, the excuse, or the moment when their support would evaporate into thin air.
You may now find yourself automatically questioning genuine care and support, even from partners who have proven trustworthy over time. Hope feels dangerous because hoping means becoming vulnerable to disappointment. You might keep expectations deliberately low as emotional insurance—if you don't expect much, you can't be crushed when things inevitably fall through.